holidays are up and it didn’t seem as fun and exciting as i imagined it to be….. there’s still school, and there’s still cca. the same bs all over again. post-exam activities suck balls, and coach is pushing us way too hard for competition which is like 5 months later. not to mention the fact that i still can’t get over someone in my life that fkin affects me in every which way.
i even planned to get a job but the people there haven’t called me back and it’s just wasting time. making me so much more free and allowing my thoughts go haywire. i really want to do something in my life that i enjoy so that these thoughts wont appear in my head so often. i do enjoy running. but not under the fkin hot sun and with coach screaming at us about how bad our performance is……. 3 months of not training and she doesn’t go slow but expect marvelous results. what…. why??? by expecting marvelous results also meant that there’ll be training 5 days a week which means i can’t really go out and have fun anymore……. … ……..
sure there’s halloween horror night and adventure cove with my friends, but that’s not until a few days later and these few days I’ll still have to put up with the same shit. im so tired and bothered by everything wrong in my life, sometimes i just feel soo fkin dePRESSED.